Tuesday, April 27, 2010

You're guaranteed to NOT get a date

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!

Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.

Do you have a boyfriend? [No] Want one? [Yes] Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.

Do you want to see something swell?

Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? (Reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP!

Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?

Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples.

I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.

I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.

I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.

My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off you blouse in a public place.

No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?

Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?

Pardon me, are you in heat?!

Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?

So, you're a girl huh?

Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.

Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.

Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some friends because my face seats five.

You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.

You make my software turn to hardware!

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

No comments:

Post a Comment