W.T.F!

(leaning over to whisper) I think about you when I masturbate.

Are we related? Do you want to be?

Can you say Constantinople backwards? Me neither, but I just wanted to ask.

Can you spell ICUP. I-C-U-P. You saw me pee. (laugh profusely)

Do you know how to use a whip?

Drop 'em!

Excuse me, do you live around here often?

Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.

Hey babe...can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose?

Hey babe...can you suck start a Harley?

Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.

Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I 0don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."

I am very, very lonely, and I was wonderin'...

I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.

I'm drunk.

I'm not trying anything, I always put my hands there.

I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?

If I could be anything, I'd love to be your bathwater.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK

Like the look of your crotch.

Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?

Pardon me miss, but I help noticing that you have cum in your hair.

Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.

Say, did we go to different schools together?

That outfit must make a lot of noise in the dryer, huh.

What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this??

Why you've got the whitest teeth I'd ever want to cum across!

Would you like Gin and platonic or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?

Would you like to dance or should I go fuck myself again?

Would you like to see me naked ??

Wow! Are you really as beautiful as you seem or do you remind me of myself?

You are just truly absolutely beautiful! Can you cook and clean also?

You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from.

You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?

You know what I like about you? My arms.

You know, I'd really love to fuck your brains out, but it appears someone beat me to it.

You know, my mother says you have the smoothest complexion of anyone she knows.

You look just like my mother.

You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno.

You remind me of a girl I used to date.

You remind me of my dead ex-girlfriend.

You're 'No Parking' right? Just trying to guess your sign.

Your name is Laura, huh? Can I call you Laura? Really, what time?

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